The Theory of Relativity

These days, I play a ‘three bucket trick’ on myself. I use three buckets full of water to take my evening bath. Water conservationists, please excuse, but the weather is swelteringly hot, and my work entails that I stand in the Sun, for at least a couple of hours, everyday.

I use a submersible pump to suck the water up; from a bore well that reaches the deep innards of mother earth.

The first bucket full is almost warm, maybe due to the heated pipes that it uses to travel. The next two are progressively cooler. The third one being coldest of the lot but is still not ‘COLD’ by any standards set by the centigrade scale.

I use bucket number two first. It is refreshing. It washes the sweat and the grime off. Next I pull up the bucket number one. After number two, it feels ‘WARM,’ but still it is H TWO OH! An increasingly rare commodity on this planet. I use a larger water jug to run through it as quickly as possible.

Then comes the treat of the evening.

Bucket number three feels icy cold! I pour it over myself slowly, jug by jug, enjoying each drop as it carouses down my body. It tingles, it invigorates, it cools my scalp, and sends the body temperature plunging. The trick makes the water feel much colder than it actually is!
I
t enables me to wash the day off. I feel like a new man.

Theory Of Relativity: Rule One: Our feeling of discomfiture or pleasure are relative to the immediately previous experience that we have had rather than the real and actual parameters of the incident.

Let me give you another scenario. Imagine that you walk from a non air conditioned environment, into a room which had an air conditioner running in it, till a few minuets ago.

Your immediate reaction would be “Wow! Thank God! Its so cool, mmmmm…!” However, the people who had been there in the room, for some time, when the AC was running full blast, would be sweating bullets and cursing the utility company for shutting off power!

Relativity!

The theory does not end here.

Rule Two: We constantly compare ourselves with our relatives (the term includes, parents, siblings, cousins, uncles, friends, nieghbours, colleagues et el, but excludes our children). We feel happy or otherwise in accordance with the conclusions that we draw from such comparisons and set our targets accordingly. All our lives we compete with them and only them, whether consciously or unconsciously. In their misfortunes we take a vicarious if camouflaged pleasure, in their successes lie our insecurities and jealousies.

You do not agree? Answer the following questions:

If you buy a new car, whether a Nano or a Merc, whom do you want to show it to? Mr.Tata?

If you go on a holiday to Goa, Lonavala ,Shimla or Bangkok, do you put the pictures on the local newspaper or on Face book and Orkut? Why?

If you dream your dream house, do you plan its layout, landscape, height, interiors etc according to the houses of your ‘friends’? Or to a certain Mr. Mallaya?

If a son is not doing so well in school, whom do we think of? Mr D.B. Ambani; or a distant uncle, who made his millions despite having no college education?

Need I say more?